tired

the name
shatters me like
the mirror I couldn’t look at
not for another second

symbols carved in the sidewalk
glassy eyes
tired of remembering
I take things
day by day now
I’ve lost so much time
in vacant places and
empty rooms in my head

and I miss the way it felt
when the sun melted us together
and the puddle we made
looked like it’s own world
for just a moment

giving

succumb and detach
heavy footsteps
leave holes in the carpet
the same path
in different contexts

you watched the blood
drip from a crack in my lip
waited eagerly
to see it color the ground beneath you
and it still felt like something
while I kept my eyes closed

I’ll get lost again
on my way home
lost
safe and sound

digressing

a language in
the way your hands shake
and it’s back
gnawing through the soft flesh of your lips

just keep going
it was always too late
and it burns
because I need it to
the paradox
that makes you alive

fuck you Icarus
I bet I can make it higher

pressing Reset

take your syringe to my smile
the one I practiced
watch as deep red becomes pale
while the empty gratification
floods me
and quickly seeps out of the cracks

how the fuck
did I not notice
I was so far from shore?
you all look like ants
or parasites

so many

I still make up
these little stories sometimes
about a vague protagonist
followed by an unreliable narrator
stories full of the things
that help me fall asleep
quietly traveling
through places I’ve tried to forget

there’s never an ending
but I can give you
so many beginnings