step carefully into pitfalls
avert my eyes from the silent page
and hide from an ancient fear

where will I go?

an abandoned residence
standing on broken glass
and watching rain drops
race down the only window
that faces the light

vaguely drawn to
smoke signals
burning and
burning
hypnotic warmth
familiar sirens
and the scars from
the fire look
like something you
wish you dreamt about

a language in
the way your hands shake
and it’s back
gnawing through the soft flesh of your lips

just keep going
it was always too late
and it burns
because I need it to
the paradox
that makes you alive

fuck you Icarus
I bet I can make it higher

take your syringe to my smile
the one I practiced
watch as deep red becomes pale
while the empty gratification
floods me
and quickly seeps out of the cracks

how the fuck
did I not notice
I was so far from shore?
you all look like ants
or parasites

reckon with the
emptiness in the air
you can fill it back up
with a hoarse voice
second-guessed sentences
to make sure you mean it

in the barren fields
I will lean towards the sunlight

caustic pleasures
sometimes I just
need it to hurt
it’s always the framing
and long lists
of things to keep in mind

I want to be absorbed
into a decaying piano
and see the light
through warbled melody

I still make up
these little stories sometimes
about a vague protagonist
followed by an unreliable narrator
stories full of the things
that help me fall asleep
quietly traveling
through places I’ve tried to forget

there’s never an ending
but I can give you
so many beginnings

the hedonist in hiding
can’t you see the
sunken eyes the
shaking hands
and the hunger
always the hunger

no one told me
the edge was so
beautiful
I guess no one really
comes back

how can I explain?

memories
disfigure themselves
day by day
thoughts
become warped
bent and broken
collapsing and imploding

it’s nice to meet you
I’m just not sure where to start
and there’s so little time
to spare on the past

you paused for a moment
looking to see how far you’d come
but the trail-markers turn to ash as you approach
and the ash follows the wind

your world is unfamiliar to you
every spring
and every fall
a quiet echo chamber

you’ve given up on solid ground
it never got you anywhere

at the will of chaos
you will move forward